My mom's instructions to me for when she dies
Our book What To Do When I'm Gone is funnier than it sounds! And makes a unique Mother's Day gift.
For those who aren’t familiar, What To Do When I’m Gone is a book of my mom’s instructions to me on what to do when she dies, beginning the moment she dies. It’s fully illustrated by me, and like my mom, it’s beautiful, funny and real. To this day it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever made, and lives very close to my heart.
Once we realized how universal these topics were, what began as a small family project expanded into a book we wanted to share with the world. It was our hope that Gone could inspire conversations about death between parents and children of all ages. Death is such a taboo subject in our culture, and yet we will all lose people we love. We will all leave loved ones behind. Why not talk about it before it happens?
Connecting more closely with each other, and embracing the reality that our time is limited, can allow us to live more fully in the here and now.
Now, seven years after its publication, Gone is published in several languages and has struck a deeply emotional chord with those who’ve lost loved ones and those who, like me, are preparing for it.
Parents give it to their children, adult children give it to their parents, and many have used it as a jumping-off point for deeper conversations, sometimes even scrawling their own notes and advice in the margins. Several people, including a reader in Taiwan, have been inspired to make their own books.
When we went on our book tour, we handed out these postcards with discussion questions. I hope you’ll screenshot this and ask them of a parent or parent-figure in your life, or answer them for your own children.
I know this book, even the title, can scratch at a very tender place for some people, particularly around Mother’s Day. But I hope you’ll read it. Our book’s central message, communicated with humor, honesty and illustrations, is that even if the parent you loved is gone, that powerful underlying connection lives on through the life and memories you shared ❤️